Monday, January 11, 2010

No Gnus Is Good Gnus

So Mark McGwire finally comes out and says it.

And in other news, Pope Benedict confirms that he is indeed Catholic, a bear took a dump in the woods and sand was found on the beach today.

This is news? Well, clearly it is. We all knew it was a matter of time since he is going to be the hitting coach of the team that made him famous as the Big Mac, the St. Louis Cardinals. I mean, I'm sure their fans don't give a crap anyway, he'll always be near and dear to their hearts and it's well-documented that once someone comes clean, they can turn a new leaf and will be conveniently forgotten as the anti-hero.

But, again, I ask is this news? Or just confirmation of what we already knew?

In other news, it was reported in the news today that Derek Jeter is marrying his semi-long-term girlfriend actress Minka Kelly. It must be a slow news day. For one, this is going by a registered wedding as "Jeter Wedding." He's either dumb as shit (well, that's up for debate) or is really going through with it as the "Jeter Wedding" getting more paparazzi than Elizabeth Taylor did at her marriage to Larry Fortensky.

To me, this is "news" since I always thought Derek Jeter to be a long-life bachelor in the vein of Rusty Staub and Reggie Jackson. Uh, you guys figure that one out.

Of course, on Twitter there is also the trending topic of #thingsicareaboutmorethanjeterswedding and I included things such as counting the kernels of corn in my crap after Shepherd's Pie night.

I guess my point is, if there's no news on the Mets today, it must be good gnews. So good night everyone.


Solly said...

I knew about Rusty but Reggie's rumored to hit from the other side too?

Coop said...

One of the best kept secrets in sports...

Bear Man said...

So Pope Benny took a dump in the sand, Reggie Jackson is marrying Rusty Staub, Minka Kelly made Shepherd's Pie for Larry Fortensky and Derek Jeter and Elizabeth Taylor did steroids?

Methinks some sleep is required for Bear Man.

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