Sunday, August 23, 2009

Bobby Parnell...You Are Our Only Hope

Just when you think the Mets can't possibly lose any worse than fill-in-the-blank time...well...I believe I have seen it all, young Mets fans.

In fact, the only thing I have NOT seen is a no-hitter/perfect game while I've been in attendance, and well, I'm afraid to even see that because it will probably be AGAINST the Mets.


I was at today's shit-show.  And I can't believe I've been away from this site for almost two weeks.  But I think today's events warranted me to come up with some new material.

a.)  Oh Pea.  You are dead to me.  I never want to see you again.

2.) An unassisted triple play to end the game.  Uh, yeah.  I was confused when it happened but when I saw it plus had someone explain what happened, it made sense.  The irony?  I thought to myself at the beginning of the game that Oh Pea could have used one to get out of the first.  Um, yeah I really did think it.  Never said it out loud though so I don't have anyone to back me up.  Besides, Zoe would have told me Kinahura-Kinahura or something along those lines.

D.) I saw another inside the park jammie today by Angel Pagan.  The last supporting character I saw hit one was Damion Easley in Milwaukee in 2007.  I watched that one and had no idea he hit it.  The only redeeming factor on today's is that the Flying Pigfucker himself Shane Victorino was trying to get it called as a ground rule double.  HA HA HA HA HA HA.  I hate you Victorino.  (anytime I get to point and laugh at Victorino is always a good time)

But I mean, I took my own philosophy to heart this weekend.  See, either way I win, a la Kevin McReynolds.  They win, I drink.  They lose, I drink.  This weekend was just bonus points because it's the Phillies.  They beat the Phillies?  Ha ha ha!  The D-Mets list beat you!  Ha ha ha ha!  They lose?  Well, congrats Phillies, you want a cookie or something?  You beat the D-TEAM.  

The Mets could finish 161 games out of first place, and under .500 and I'm sure I'd find something to be positive about.  YEAH RIGHT.

In any case, I found Mets fans to not be as frighteningly positive as I've been.  Sure, I could be better myself.  But talking to other fans, it's like they haven't even watched a game.  If you check out Zoe's site, she put up a video of us talking to Mets fans.  Now, I had a few beers plus it was really hot out.  Uh, serious journalist I am NOT but I was trying to be.  Didn't do a hot job.  But the resounding feeling towards this team? 

They suck.

I mean, yes, if this was the team they put out on Opening Day, well sure, I would not have been predicting a 90-win and playoff run type of season myself.  But here's something to chew on.  If no one got hurt.  If there was no such thing as the DL, if there was no such thing as hamstring pulls, oblique muscle tears, hamstring pops, knee issues, psychological problems, I doubt many of us would be saying this team SUCKED.  In fact, they had the goods to I think go all the way this year.  Even with Oh Pea's brain farts, chances are, Jonathon Niese was ready to step up and you know, most of us really liked what we saw of him.

Fact is, Bobby Parnell is doing what Aaron Heilman should have been doing three years ago.  Starting after doing bullpen work.

The Curse of Nolan Ryan should have been exorcised this weekend with the 1969 Reunion.  

The Curse of Aaron Heilman is just beginning.

But the Philosophy of Kevin McReynolds is still holding true.  I get to drink no matter what.  Which by the way, I had a "fan" of mine come visit the other night, bringing beer.

It's nice to be the Queen of the Iron Triangle.  

We don't even get a day off this week, and I still owe my two readers a round up from my West Coast trip to Angel and Dodger Stadium.  I think my misadventures work better than the Mets these days anyway.  Don't worry, I won't be a stranger this week.  


Fred said...

You saw history today, Coop. A win by a future HOFer that was sealed by an unassisted triple play.

Nice to see you finally come around on Oh Pea.

kranepool said...

You know what's worse than sucking in '09? Sucking in'10,'11, '12 etc. etc.

Having spent most of my Mets fan exsitence in this lost season mode this time of year there is usually the optimistic look at the little farm fresh players come September but this year's crop is not exactly bummper quality.

With this suckitude around us how much you want to bet the Skill Sets raise ticket prices for 2010?

Zoƫ said...

Oh never fear, my goal will always be fun over serious. Beer fully welcomed for any future videos! I hope to make it a regular thing with guest stars and the like, but we'll see about logistics!

Ed Leyro said...

You should start a new drinking game. Every time you see something at a Mets game you never thought you'd see...down the hatch.

Of course, whoever's buying will need to empty out his/her bank account.

Sometimes I wish Terrance and Phillip were real so they could fart on Oh Pea every time he blows up on the mound.