Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Mets Divas "Fantasy" Team

I'm not talking about what happened today. Or the day that shall not be talked about ever again. 'K?

Rather, I want to introduce you to the Mets Divas "Fantasy Team." See, I am a baseball chick through and through, and not a groupie (shut up, Dykstraw). But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy cute butts in uniforms.

As an example, whenever John Maine is pitching, I *may* get a text from Zoe or someone that says something to this effect - I just want to squeeze his tushy. And I might have gotten something from someone who may like to identify herself as saying to me - how come I never noticed what a nice ass he has, especially in the white uniform?

Now, my dad couldn't say something like that, but I can. And that's what I think rocks about women who like sports. We watch for the enjoyment of the sport - but also for the fringe benefits. Like tight butts in uniforms.

So ladies, I ask, who is on your Fantasy Team? And I don't mean the teams you form when you draft certain guys on ESPN, Yahoo! Sports or whatever. No, I mean, is Scott Schoeneweis (thanks, Schmifty!) a "starter" on your Fantasy Team? Cause he's certainly on mine.

And lately, Brian Schneider has been a starter on my Fantasy Team too. I didn't think he was particularly hot - until I saw him in the Mercedes-Benz commercial? Holy crap. He's got a hot bod. Johan Santana, he's pretty easy on the eyes. And I wouldn't kick Duaner Sanchez out of bed either.

But your Fantasy League, like all good fantasy teams, they don't have to include just Mets per se unless you are a one-woman team. But for example, my Fantasy Team Hall of Fame definitely has Cal Ripken on it (and I'm not talking about the old man either). His eyes are blue like the ocean. *SIGH*

Other current players are Grady Sizemore, Jacoby Ellsbury...although to be honest, I think they are way too young for me. Hey, maybe they'll think I'm a cougar.

So ladies, ladies, ladies. Step right up and don't be shy - tell us who your "fantasy" players are! Cause hey, it's gotta be better than what we are seeing right now on the field. Pitiful.

34 comments:

kranepool said...

Coop,

So when do we stage our coup of the NY Metropolitan Baseball Team. I can take out Jeffey it a flash but I think Freddy and Uncle Saul might be tougher.

When I go on my scouting trips I'll check out if the players can hit, hit for power and how firm a hiney he has in double knits, anything for you Coop LOL

dykstraw said...

remember ladies, as a commenter i am not eligible. sorry for the confusion and disappointment.

will said...

too bad i'm not a lady.

Julie/ChicagoMetsFan.com said...

Do you want us post our team in the comments or send an email? Either way, this is going to take a little time for me....but totally fun!

jules said...

this is totally fun (something baseball has not been lately - arrggh) i'll be posting a list this afternoon.

Coop said...

Y'all can just leave some ideas in the comment boxes. That is all... :D

Coop said...

And Kranepool, I'll infiltrate the Mets Offices at the next game I am at. I'll be there with Metstradamus and crew...they'll cover me. LOL

Coop said...

Will, you can certainly send me some fantasies to my email :)

Coop said...

And Dykstraw you know I heart you but I told you I think of you as a chick with a dick.

Deb said...

Hmmm... is this an all-time fantasy team? Because if it is, I'd have to put Robin Ventura, Todd Zeile, Eric Karros (sure, he's not hot now, but he was, back in the day), Jeff Conine (he's a manly man) and countless others on it. Interestingly enough, no Piazza -- the guy just did absolutely nothing for me.

schmifty said...

Coop – someone posted over SIX HUNDRED pics from the Mets-in-suits event on Flickr in this album. If you have even a single Met on your ‘fantasy’ team, you need to go through this album and see the guy in a suit… ohh my. And EVERYone is in there. Pure eye candy...

Johnny Maine has come a long way on his bum. He used to have no bum back on the O’s. Then all the sudden, baby has a bubble butt. I'm thinkin, it must be pure muscle. Rawrrr.

You want a bum though, look no further than Rich Harden. HELLO. Makes my eyes pop out of my head. I have the perfect pic of him in just his sliders, at home. Will have to come back and post it. For now, you get a pic of him shirtless, pants coming off, shaving in the clubhouse.

I have FAR more to say on this, and many pics to illustrate - this is my topic of specialty, but I better wait til I get home. (Quick hits: Ventura and Zeile, YES!)

coop said...

Schmifty I am in pic #122 (standing row, 2nd from right) - I went to Oh Pea's station first then they moved him! I think they hold his stalker was there LOL. Also, I took a pic with Strawberry in his pimpin plaid jacket. Word. Johan looked soooooo handsome and Pedro Feliciano had the biggest blingiest watch i've ever seen in my life :)

Deb said...

oooooohhhh kay.... I didn't have a chance to look through all the pics, but here are my thoughts so far: (1) Omar looks like a gangster; (2) DW and Johan look like modern day pimps with their shiny shit; (3) Straw looks like an old-time pimp all plaided out and shit, bless his "Huggy Bear" soul; and finally (4) Carlos "You Look Mahvelous" Beltran -- what the fuck is that smoking jacket thingy he's wearing?

One more comment -- if these pictures are any evidence, just because people have money, doesn't mean they know how to dress.

dykstraw said...

i thought i was more of a dick with a chick :(

schmifty has absolutely corrupted my interpretation of GO BIG PELF

coop said...

actually if we want to wax intellectual dykstraw, you are like a chick without a vagina

crazymetgirl said...

Am I the only one who thinks Jose Reyes is just ridiculously stunning? I feel dirty even thinking it because he's just a few years older than my son, but good gawd!

Johan is definitely my starting pitcher -- I could look at him for a good long time... and Piazza can be his catcher (ahem) -- I've been crushin' on Mike for years and years. And who doesn't love Johnny Maine? He's like the perfect boyfriend.

Of course David Wright can be on my team, and even though we're all hatin' on him lately, Delgado has a beautiful smile.

I've also had a thing for Torii Hunter -- ever since he threw that ball back at the pitcher, he's had a place in my heart. And I think he's adorable, too. Bonus.

I like this approach... our team can't play worth shit, but the good news is that we can put together a calendar if need be. Focus on the positive.

Thanks for the distraction, Coop!

Julie/ChicagoMetsFan.com said...

Alright...I couldn't pick just one third baseman..and I'm stumped on a second baseman:
C- Piazza
1B- Todd Zeile
2B-
SS- Kevin Elster
3B- David Wright/Robin Ventura/Joe Crede
OF- Cliff Floyd
OF- Xavier Nady
OF- Ryan Church
P- Johan

schmifty said...

I'm still upset that when I met Johnny, I thought he was still married, so I held back. Aaargh!!

Anyway, I can't stop thinking about this so here's my personal contribution to the John Maine's Tushy photo treasure trove.
here
and here
and here
and here
I think we should revoke the 'Bacon Pants' nickname from Aaron Rowand and bestow it upon Johnny. He deserves it. (I'm sure he would just love that, too... lol).

OH PS, did y'all know there are (X-rated) slash fictions out there with a Pelf/Maine pairing? Seriously. Discuss.

coop said...

schmifty FOR SHAME! ;-) I thought you were married...

schmifty said...

me?!? LOL no... I just turned 23 today... some people referred to the guy in some of the Pelf-era pics as my 'husband', but it was my brother!

jules said...

schmifty... i took this photo just because i know Maine wanted me to! mmmm mmmmmmm

Coop said...

i have a similar pic of Oh Pea from my Chicago trip last year :)

crazymetgirl said...

Ooooh... How could I have forgotten Kevin Elster?!?!!? Luuuuurrrvvved him!

sheep-mambo said...

Coop -- long time reader of your blog and finally decided to come out of lurking :D. Hello! Intro: My name is Anastasia, I've been a Mets fan for 11 years. Am 22.

Schmifty -- don't know how to express how wonderful your Go Big Pelf story was, with pictures. I actually write the Maine/Pelfrey pairing (since 2006). I take loads of screencaps of the BFFs, but especially Maine since he's my favorite. I have the stories on my livejournal, but I can always email them to you if you don't have an account.

If I can add to the fantasy team, I've always had a thing for Chris Carpenter and Jake Peavy. (I don't even mind a scruffy Adam Wainwright :P.) Pitchers are my thing.

I'll share my favorite Maine picture. From the end of 2006, I think: here.

Nice to meet all of you!

sheep-mambo said...

&just a note, the stuff I write isn't x-rated.

dykstraw said...

how about that ricky ledee? or wally backman, version 2008? am i the only one just itching for some LIMA TIME?

Coop said...

Thanks Sleep Mambo for coming out of hiding!! This is great you have all this stuff - I don't know if you saw my ST pics, but in some circles I've been known as "Mrs Maine" because of my pic with John at Duffys :). Also, I met him at the Welcome Home dinner and told him my favorite player growing up was Cal Ripken too - but I am a lifelong Mets fan! Too funny. Thanks for stopping by - our boys are just too cute, aren't they?

And CMG - Kevin Elster was hot back in the day but have you seen him lately? He hit the wall. OH! And at the Mets '86 reunion game in 2006, did you see danny Heep? Madon!! I never thought much of him when he played but he aged WELL - more than the hotties on the team back then - (Ronnie and Mex). LOL

sheep-mambo said...

From an interview I've read, he grew up a Mets fan also, looking up to Edgardo Alfonzo, of all people.

I did see your ST pics. I would have been quite shy to even approach him.

And they are wayyy too cute.

schmifty said...

hey sheep mambo! thanks for remembering my story, aww! i remember your name from lj. i think it just knocked me out that people caught onto the pelf-maine bromance so fast! i didn't notice it until PSL this year. hey- i just checked through my favorites and i have "How to bid farewell" in there ;) so cute.

i can't remember - did i steal this and this from you? (that first one is my evidence of johnny bumless).

oh and here is that harden-in-sliders pic, rawr. harden pitches today -> I watch the A's game today.

sheep-mambo said...

Schmifty! Hey! :D May I friend you on LJ then? I'm all kinds of excited. You were my inspiration behind the latest one I posted.

I think I've written over 30 stories with them, most of which are locked in my journal. I actually caught on when Pelfrey made his debut in 2006 and took a capture with my cell phone here--Eli Morrero's the other one in the pic. I didn't actually think it would evolve and become something else.

The first one's from my friend pixieslash on LJ. She made that one. She has all kinds of others in her journal. She's another big fan of the two. The second one used to be in my profile that was made for me.

I took this one from a game. And also, this picture someone took from the opener in Florida. (The images I'm linking from are from my friend's gallery, not mine.)

My contribution to the tushy gallery:
Maine and Pelfrey from Atlanta last year.

sheep-mambo said...

My mistake: the second one my friend pixieslash made. The first one's for me.

schmifty said...

my goodness sheep mambo, you've got all the goodies!! wow!! a story is inspired by me - that is hysterical! i gotta read it now. i will go friend you. this is all too funny... i love it! great idea to screencap them, they are always doing cute little things to each other in the dugout. sometimes dugout shots are my favorite part of the game...

sheep-mambo said...

Well, not really inspired by you, but by the t-shirts!

They have their own handshake also. I managed to get a video of that with my camera from Maine's victory vs. the Dodgers.

Tina said...

Interesting to know.